I finally understand why I’ve never actually gotten anywhere with a guy before. It’s because I always give off the impression that I’m a bitch when we first meet and pretty much act like I don’t care about them. 

For some reason, I always get nervous around certain guys and unintentionally become  very mean towards them. I don’t know why. With girls I would like to believe that I’m nice, but with some guys it’s a different story.

I guess it depends on who it is though. If it’s a cute or nice guy or someone who shows interest in me, I’m an automatic bitch to them and if it’s just someone who I really do not care about then I guess I’m just myself. As horrible as that sounds, I think it’s the truth. I don’t think either it’s because I’m trying to make them like me…it’s not like that at all. Maybe it’s because I’ve never experienced any real ‘intimacy’ with a guy and therefore I just have no idea how to approach that kind of situation. I get scared and nervous.

I also tend to think that a cute guy wouldn’t approach a girl like me. Maybe I’m just a little bit insecure. 

I absolutely hate this about myself.